How to Handle Whining Children

It is not unusual to find children whining and complaining every once in a while. But what is worrisome for parents is to see their children seeing things in a negative light almost all the time. That is definitely a cause of worry. It is a nightmare to find your kids indulged in nitpicking all the time. It can be emotionally exhausting for parents. Parents often feel confused regarding how best to handle such situations. So what causes such behavior in children?

The first reason could be parents’ behavior. If parents themselves are indulged in complaining behavior then kids are also most likely to follow their parents. In that case, parents need to watch their behavior and ranting in front of the children. Parents should always lead by example. If they are not presenting the right examples, how could they expect kids to do the same?

First and foremost, parents should ask children the kind of behavior that they expect from them. It will help to explain what is positive and what is negative, and make sure he understands the difference between the two. Ideally, parents should sit with the child and talk about the undesirable things and how it is affecting the overall environment.

A good conversation always helps. Don’t underestimate the child’s ability to grasp the things. Or you can also set a certain time frame when child could complain about all the things he deems fit. If the complaints are sensible enough, parents can adequate steps to rectify the situation. Using these methods you can control your child's whining in a peaceful and authoritative way.

Separation Anxiety In Children

Parents must have heard of separation anxiety faced by the children. According to child specialists, separation anxiety begins from eight months of age and till the age of five it remains prominent and afterwards slowly starts to decrease. This can also said to be normal stage of development and there is nothing to worry about it as is commonly faced by almost all the kids. This anxiety in babies arises because of the feeling that caregiver will leave only to never return again. So, if the child senses the impending separation he/she starts reacting and showing anxiety. Normally, a kid usually expresses his anxiety through clinging to the parents, excessive crying and distress. Frequent demonstration of this behavioural pattern in children is indicative of separation anxiety.

Once parents are aware of this problem, they should devote more time to the kids. If not taken proper care, this might lead to a psychological disorder called the separation anxiety disorder. But, that stage is far away and parents can always treat this anxiety problem with utmost care and devotion. Ideally, parents should remain firm when child starts showing tantrums. The reason is if you get affected by child’s behaviour and react as per his preference, next time handling anxiety symptoms will be even more difficult.

Talking to the kid will help a lot. Make him understand that separation hurts you as well. Understanding and talking will make him feel more comfortable. It will also be a good idea to familiarize the kid with his surroundings. Maintain a proper routine for you so that way child will be aware of timings. Always, always empathize with the child and understand his anxiety. Finally, never ever show your own anxiety to the child. It will make him react even more aggressively.

Bed Wetting

Parenting is a great responsibility and it involves handling numerous problems. One common problems faced by parents is bed-wetting by the kids. Also known as sleep-wetting, this refers to involuntarily bed-wetting by the kid while he is sleeping. Normally, a number of kids are not able to control the flow of urine or lose control over bladder in sleeping condition. It has been found to be a common problem in the children till the age of five or six. According to one study, among all the bed-wetter kids, 60 percent ate male. A high percentage of 90 percent children in this ratio wet the bed almost every night.

Children who bed wetting are normally psychologically affected. The prime reason is shame factor attached with it. Parents need to be sensitive to such plight of the kids. Some of the parents also punish their kids for wetting their bed. That’s definitely not a very ideal thing to do. Some other children face peer pressure and some other face the risk of being ridiculed by their brothers and sisters. A child having such problems runs the risk of losing his self-worth in case he is not getting sufficient help from his parents.

There are certain things parents can do to solve this problem. The first they need to do is to cut down their child's consumption of water or any other form of liquid. Child should also be habituated to go to the loo to pee before he goes to sleep. Parents can also think of waking up the kid at least once during nighttime so that he can go to washroom and empty his bladder. Finally, tackle this problem with love and patience.

Shaken Baby Syndrome

So what is Shaken baby syndrome? The origin of this term stems from shaking babies to cause certain effects. It could be a gentle rocking so that a crying baby stops doing so and feel relaxed. Most of the time, it works. The shaking could be side to side or up and down in the arms and there is a soothing effect on babies. Some of the parents prefer to use vigorous rocking motion but that can be very dangerous. There have been cases of babies dying from dangerous shaking or getting seriously injured.

The problem starts when parents feel frustrated with constant crying of the babies. Sleeping becomes a thing of the past and patience soon starts to wear off. So what do parents do? Simple shake the baby in most vigorous way and let out the frustration. But then, that’s where you are perhaps making a huge mistake.

According to statistics, 50% of babies who are shaken up to the point of serious injury, are so shaken by their natural parents and the rest 50% is caused by baby sitters, siblings and stepparents etc. the data also says that shaking is responsible for no less than 15% of baby deaths and males contribute 80% to it. Those are some real eye opening facts! So if you want to calm down your baby, gentle rocking will be sufficient and is also the safest way possible. Try to be patient with your baby and you will have more reasons to be proud of your status as a parent.

Step Parenting

Yes, parenting is a tough job but what about step parenting? Well, needless to say, it’s even more difficult. Step parenting comes with some additional responsibilities but like every other thing in life, it is not impossible to manage. There are always some ways and strategies to tackle an issue as sensitive as step parenting. The whole gamut of relationship between step parents and child is very complex. The basic understanding is of gauging the mindset of child. The case of step families takes place only when the first family was dissolved because of death ad divorce and both situations are extremely damaging for the child. We can’t really blame kids for expecting their step parents to love him the way his first family did. In the light of such expectations, it is the duty of the parents to redefine relationship and build a fresh relationship.

Step parents need to make the child understand new dimensions of the family. The integration of this new bond takes time and sometimes even years. It is difficult to build an instant attachment both for the parents and kid. But parents should ensure they are treating child with respect and affection and that will certainly be reciprocated. Parents should make sure that they are not making any derogatory comments about child’s biological parents or siblings. Act patiently and that is the main key of generating love and affection in the long run. Devote great amount of time to your kids and soon you will be relishing the blessings of parenthood.

Independent Children

Children grow up to become independent humans. That’s how the cycle works. It also implies that parents need to impart such skills in their child so that children grow up to become young, confident and independent individuals. In fact, attaining independence is a very crucial part in child’s growth. They cannot rely on their parents or siblings for every small need of their life. The trick for parents is to inculcate a self-determining attitude in their kid.

One of the first steps parents need to take is to avoid spoon feeding. It’s one thing to help the child whenever he needs it and it’s an altogether different thing to support him in every small thing. That makes him reliant and dependent. Help the child only when it’s needed. Simultaneously, parents’ can work on making child confident. Independence always comes with confidence. Both go hand in hand. Teach him basic things and slowly start to assign him small tasks. This way he will start to become confident and self-reliant.

The quality of independence demands decision making ability. Parents should push child to face the world on his own. Don’t try to be over-protective. This might save him in initial run but will prove to be a poor decision in the long run. Allow him to face the realities of the world. Make your child feel secure. This can be done by instilling confidence in him that parents are always there for him if in case something goes wrong. Finally, allow your child the freedom to make decisions on his own. This way he will learn quickly.

Tips for Parenting Child With Down Syndrome

Quite a number of kids suffer from Down syndrome. It is basically a chromosomal abnormality. Down syndrome occurs because in 21^st chromosome of the baby, an extra copy of genetic material is present. This factor leads to several physical as well as mental disorders. Physical abnormality is a common side effect of this syndrome. Apart from that, problems like esophageal complication, gastro-intestinal anomalies, mental retardation and congenital heart defects are other problems occurring from Down syndrome. Children afflicted with Down syndrome are not supposed to have a normal life but there are exceptions. It has been found that if parents devote themselves to these unfortunate kids, there are chances that kids will be able to lead normal lives.

The first thing parents need to understand and accept is these kids are not liability. Yes, it’s true that they grow a slow pace but they do grow. It’s up to the parents to raise them in best possible way. Such children often face trauma in several spheres’ of life. Parents must give them proper love and care. Children with Down syndrome have specific talents and capabilities like other children. It is the job of the parents to nurture such talents and bring out the best in them. The results will be very positive if parents can push themselves. Kids affected by Down syndrome must be fed with anti-oxidants diet. It is very beneficial for them. Yoga is another good idea to improve the health of such kids.

Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is a strong buzzword in households and schools. Parents are generally responsible for taking care of child’s physical and emotional well being. Like grown up human beings, a kid also seek to gain autonomy. By autonomy, I mean choosing what to do and independence. With the passage of time, a kid develops self-awareness and self expression. These new attributes that a child acquires as he grows up, he starts facing emotional issues also. It’s very hard for a child to take ‘no’. It is also quite normal for a child to use frequent words like no, mine, me to, never etc. such problems are handled by tackling the subject of emotional intelligence.

To help the kids, parents must listen closely and see the challenges from your child’s perspective. You will son find out his needs and requirements. It also helps if parents accept child’s feelings and emotions, howsoever conflicting they may appear. Parents need to convey their acceptance through body language and actions. Parents really need to behave the way they want their child to follow. Remember, your child is going to follow how you behave and how you act.

Provide safe and protective environment to your kid for his emotional growth. Peace of mind is of utmost importance for any child. Finally, always express appreciation for howsoever so small things. It will help in enhancing his self-esteem and feel good factor.

Being patient with kids

Patience is a quality that is essential to be inculcated in childrenright from the early age. It is the quality that becomes the strongestweapon to fight against many situations and problems in life. Theworld is moving rapidly and it forces people to run along, making themimpatient individuals.

It is a rare sight to see someone calm and patient in an age where everything has quick fix solutions. Hence even in families, parentsare seen to b more and more impatient with their kids. Patience isnecessary to make a family happy and at peace. As parents, it isnecessary that you be role models to your children. If parents startbecoming impatient, what are children learning and picking up at thisyoung age?

Try and spend some time alone keeping all the pending work and theto-do lists aside. I know that workaholics might feel a littledifficult to do that but it is essential. Force yourself into thishabit where you spend ten to fifteen minutes alone when your child hasgone to school. Think about things that make you feel happy. Mothers,especially house wives often lose their own self in giving themselvesto their families. Think of something that you always wanted to do. Itmay be paragliding or even scuba-diving. Imagine you are actuallyperforming the activity. It may help you to feel lighter. Other commonways to feel at peace are meditation, prayer and yoga along withbreathings exercises.

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Teaching Interpersonal Skills to your Child

Interpersonal skills are extremely important in anyone’s life leave alone children. We humans are designed to meet new people, find new acquaintances, interact with them and as it happens quite often deal with conflicts. These things have eternal presence in our lives. We, as parents have acquired such skills over years that come very handy while dealing with such situations. The least we can do is to pass on this hard earned knowledge to out children. Very few things in life are as important as getting along with others. Knowing to deal with difficult people is an art that must be imbibed in our kids if want them successful in business, career and marriage.

These skills are better taught at homes. Passing your wisdom to your child is kind of gifting one priceless skill. Children will keep having diverse experiences during their stay at school and colleges. So rather than relying on nature and experience we can start with teaching them the wonderful art of interpersonal skills.

Health, nutrition and fitness play such important role in our lives. Not many course subjects include nutrition as a separate discipline. Just a chapter or two is dedicated to this crucial topic. With onslaught of fast food culture and widespread problem of obesity, it is suggested that parents should take initiative in this matter. They should make the child learn about benefits of fitness and proper nutrition. Talk to the kids about harmful consequences of sedate lifestyle and try to teach them by presenting yourself as an example. Of course that will require you to be more disciplined towards health in general but that is not such a tough ask when seen from your child’s education point of view. Lead by example and find your child fit and healthy for life.

Parents’ role in shaping child’s career

Parents’ role in shaping child’s career can not be undermined. That explains why we normally witness the sons and daughters entering into the professional arenas of their parents. Whether it is politics, business, or services many wads have been found to be doing what is considered as carrying the torch of family legacy. For few it’s by choice but for many others it’s by design. The thing to be noticed here is whether these new generation kids are happy doing what is expected of them or it will be more better for them and society in general that they are given ample freedom to choose what they desire?

It all starts with childhood. Often parents compare heir wards to other kids in the same class or group. If X is doing well then so should Y forgetting that Y is more adept at doing some other work. Your daughter may be enrolled in dancing classes but probably she is more inclined towards singing and that’s why her performance in dancing class is not up to the mark. Such factors are often ignored by the overly eager parents. Needless to say, this is detrimental to child’s prospects in field of his/her choice.

Allow your child and show him/her a list of hobbies by taking him out and by providing him an environment. Child will demonstrate his tastes and aptitude and parents need to observe that. Life offers us several professional choices. These days many of those choices are offbeat. Allowing your children to realize their true potential without putting any unwanted pressure is one of the best things parents can do for their kids.

What I want to be When I Grow up?

The story told in previous post suggests one thing. To each his own. It also tells us, not every kid needs to excel at academics in order to excel in life. All the kids are equipped to carve nice for themselves provided their aptitude is ascertained and guided properly. We humans are totally qualified enough to make a success of whatever profession we choose. Yes, the choosing aspect should be done carefully and it must be bereft of any parental or peer pressure.

It’s a normal sight to see parents placing extreme emphasis on academics. Elements like reading, writing and arithmetic are expected to be ingrained in the psyche of the kid. But not every kid is academic oriented. Someone is more inclined towards art or painting; someone is interested in dance and some other in sports. But, by putting emphasis on academics what parents manage to do is suffocating the talents of their wards. Yes, academics are essential but what is more important is finding the true interest of the child. Different children are cut out for different things.

If parents could just focus upon hobbies and pleasurable activities of the kids, we can have more successful and happy souls doing their jobs with maximum productivity. It is said that a child starts to develop a personality when he or she reaches the age of three. It’s also the time when pre-school period starts and child starts becoming socially adaptable. Child also starts to have his likes and dislikes in this phase that become stronger with the passage of time. This is the time when parents should focus upon child’s activities and his parents.

Handle With Care

Let’s talk about a girl named Reema. A very sensitive child of 7 years, she would often run into her room and shut the door whenever she was upset with her parents. This condition is a normal one in many families. Now what makes the things different is how the parents respond in such situations. In case of Reema, her parents would ignore her and will only knock the door when its meal time. If the child comes her parents don’t discuss the topic at all and if she does not then they won’t call her again, thinking that when her stomach starts growling she will come out on her own. That’s how Reema’s parents decided to tackle the issues. Now Reema is a grown up lady with two beautiful kids. She is very close with them but she does not feel any sort of attachment with her parents. What Reema’s parents did was to make her feel aloof and till the date she is not comfortable discussing her feelings with them.

What does this story teaches you? It’s never a good idea to ignore your child’s misery or problem. Question your children and try to probe a bit into his/her psyche. Reema’s parents could have easily asked her questions like, “were you angry? Why did you run into your room? What happened? Did someone hurt you? Did we said anything that upset you?” These questions would have made a lot of difference in that kid’s life and today, Reema’s behavior with her parents would have been totally different and pleasing.

Parenting Changes

The obsession for the word ‘perfection’ causes great deal of pain and agony in any aspect of life. Parenting is no exception. Trying to be a perfect parent and making sure what is important to the family is two different things. They don’t go together. The moment you think of what is right for you and the family instead of worrying about perfection, many things get sorted out. Many a times, your best planned things go awry but that also gives you an opportunity of being honest about it with your kids. That goes a long way in deepening the connection. That way you can also have a heart to heart discussion with the children and plan ahead.

Parents have best interests of children in their mind and hearts. They want to give best to the kids and for that few changes need to take place every now and then. Now, there is a caveat in this. People expect immediate results and that’s a big mistake. Remember, changes take time to show the result. So better play the patience game and take the needed time. For a change to become a part of your everyday life, time and patience is of utmost importance. This also allows you to learn things and see things in new perspective. In era of fast food and instant coffee, it’s a futile idea to witness instant changes in you and your kids. Small changes will show up immediately but bigger changes take time. At the same time, more time they take, parenting changes will remain more strong and emphatic.