Friday, December 18, 2009

Preventing Child Abuse

A child can often fall prey to ill intentions of the maligned souls. These days, we often come across news of sexual abuse of a child. This is a serious crime that leaves a life-long scar in the mind of the child. Many a times, it has been found that culprit was a close relative or someone who knew the child well. Child abuse can take place any which way. The problem with child abuse is, it is one of the most unreported crimes. A child feels uncomfortable sharing his plight and parents often keep incident secret because of social stigma attached with the incident. So, instead of culprit being brought to law, he often walks free and that too in plain eye sight. Parents must follow certain precautions to save their kids from going through any such ordeal.

First thing is, never leave your kid to vulnerable situations. Make sure to check, who is around the child. While hiring a baby-sitter, make sure to check his/her credentials. Always have personal and open discussion with your kids regarding everything. This way, they will also be able to share any issues they are facing. Give your child privacy. It is very important to have deep discussions with your child. Parents must be tough enough to face realities and handle the situation in best way possible. Don’t just try to pretend that problem does not exist. Keep your child aware of suspected strangers. Parents can teach child to follow their natural instincts.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Bed Wetting


Parenting is a great responsibility and it involves handling numerous problems. One common problems faced by parents is bed-wetting by the kids. Also known as sleep-wetting, this refers to involuntarily bed-wetting by the kid while he is sleeping. Normally, a number of kids are not able to control the flow of urine or lose control over bladder in sleeping condition. It has been found to be a common problem in the children till the age of five or six. According to one study, among all the bed-wetter kids, 60 percent ate male. A high percentage of 90 percent children in this ratio wet the bed almost every night.

Children who bed wetting are normally psychologically affected. The prime reason is shame factor attached with it. Parents need to be sensitive to such plight of the kids. Some of the parents also punish their kids for wetting their bed. That’s definitely not a very ideal thing to do. Some other children face peer pressure and some other face the risk of being ridiculed by their brothers and sisters. A child having such problems runs the risk of losing his self-worth in case he is not getting sufficient help from his parents.

There are certain things parents can do to solve this problem. The first they need to do is to cut down their child's consumption of water or any other form of liquid. Child should also be habituated to go to the loo to pee before he goes to sleep. Parents can also think of waking up the kid at least once during nighttime so that he can go to washroom and empty his bladder. Finally, tackle this problem with love and patience.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Shaken Baby Syndrome

So what is Shaken baby syndrome? The origin of this term stems from shaking babies to cause certain effects. It could be a gentle rocking so that a crying baby stops doing so and feel relaxed. Most of the time, it works. The shaking could be side to side or up and down in the arms and there is a soothing effect on babies. Some of the parents prefer to use vigorous rocking motion but that can be very dangerous. There have been cases of babies dying from dangerous shaking or getting seriously injured.

The problem starts when parents feel frustrated with constant crying of the babies. Sleeping becomes a thing of the past and patience soon starts to wear off. So what do parents do? Simple shake the baby in most vigorous way and let out the frustration. But then, that’s where you are perhaps making a huge mistake.

According to statistics, 50% of babies who are shaken up to the point of serious injury, are so shaken by their natural parents and the rest 50% is caused by baby sitters, siblings and stepparents etc. the data also says that shaking is responsible for no less than 15% of baby deaths and males contribute 80% to it. Those are some real eye opening facts! So if you want to calm down your baby, gentle rocking will be sufficient and is also the safest way possible. Try to be patient with your baby and you will have more reasons to be proud of your status as a parent.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Stay At Home Dads

Staying home at traditionally been responsibility and prerogative of mothers. Fathers used to provide the family monetarily. But things are changing and they are changing fast. The modern era is witnessing the role reversal. Women are venturing out and men are taking the reign from women. Now, men don’t feel shy to don the chef cap and acting as full time stay at home fathers. However, it is a different debate that who among the both gender is better at nurturing kids. Men are giving their best to prove the earlier theory wrong and they are also seeking pleasure in watching children grow. Right from changing nappies to helping kids in completing their home works, dads are doing it all. Men are very well capable of providing child a caring, educational and safe future.

However, it is easier said than done. To achieve this task, Patience must be the hallmarks of stay at home dads. Things like unkempt cupboards, broken dishes and spilled milk are sure to disrupt your peace but they must take things in stride. Slowly but steadily, you will learn to take things easily.

Stay at home dads also need to be positive to handle the conflicts and occasional anxiety. Scolding kids should be avoided and should instead focus on diverting the mind of the child. Parents have many hassles and in such cases being positive will help you overcoming those problems. Keep your child close so that they feel protected and secure. Take good care of child’s health and related factors like water, food and hygiene. Finally, keep yourself busy with things like magazines, books, journals or news. Stay employable and enjoy the blessings of fatherhood.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Step Parenting

Yes, parenting is a tough job but what about step parenting? Well, needless to say, it’s even more difficult. Step parenting comes with some additional responsibilities but like every other thing in life, it is not impossible to manage. There are always some ways and strategies to tackle an issue as sensitive as step parenting. The whole gamut of relationship between step parents and child is very complex. The basic understanding is of gauging the mindset of child. The case of step families takes place only when the first family was dissolved because of death ad divorce and both situations are extremely damaging for the child. We can’t really blame kids for expecting their step parents to love him the way his first family did. In the light of such expectations, it is the duty of the parents to redefine relationship and build a fresh relationship.

Step parents need to make the child understand new dimensions of the family. The integration of this new bond takes time and sometimes even years. It is difficult to build an instant attachment both for the parents and kid. But parents should ensure they are treating child with respect and affection and that will certainly be reciprocated. Parents should make sure that they are not making any derogatory comments about child’s biological parents or siblings. Act patiently and that is the main key of generating love and affection in the long run. Devote great amount of time to your kids and soon you will be relishing the blessings of parenthood.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Child’s Attention Span


A child’s mind keeps wandering. Now studying and suddenly he feels like playing or watching TV. Children are normally very restless and overactive. Unlike adults, child‘s attention span is quite less. So what are parents supposed to do in order to increase child’s attention span? This factor needs even more importance during the times of examination. The problems gets magnified when an exam or project report is due in few days and child is not willing to sit for more than an hour on the study table. However, parents should not panic in such condition. It is a normal event that takes place in every household.

The first thing parents should focus on is setting a routine. As per the examination timing, child’s study routine must be defined and followed. The benefit of a set routine is if this habit gets inculcated in your kid he will be ready to face new challenges even in the future years of his life. Studying demands concentration and mind cannot study unless all the distractions are gone. Do not disturb while the child studies. Try to identify when your child feels better in studying. It could be morning or evening.

Parents must arrange for an appropriate study table for the child. He will able to concentrate better while sitting on a chair-table compared to a sofa where he is more likely to feel sleepy. Set some goals for the kid while he studies. Try to avoid any sort of distractions like loud music or TV set. Finally, make your child eat light foods. That way he will keep feeling more enthusiastic and fresh.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Independent Children

Children grow up to become independent humans. That’s how the cycle works. It also implies that parents need to impart such skills in their child so that children grow up to become young, confident and independent individuals. In fact, attaining independence is a very crucial part in child’s growth. They cannot rely on their parents or siblings for every small need of their life. The trick for parents is to inculcate a self-determining attitude in their kid.

One of the first steps parents need to take is to avoid spoon feeding. It’s one thing to help the child whenever he needs it and it’s an altogether different thing to support him in every small thing. That makes him reliant and dependent. Help the child only when it’s needed. Simultaneously, parents’ can work on making child confident. Independence always comes with confidence. Both go hand in hand. Teach him basic things and slowly start to assign him small tasks. This way he will start to become confident and self-reliant.

The quality of independence demands decision making ability. Parents should push child to face the world on his own. Don’t try to be over-protective. This might save him in initial run but will prove to be a poor decision in the long run. Allow him to face the realities of the world. Make your child feel secure. This can be done by instilling confidence in him that parents are always there for him if in case something goes wrong. Finally, allow your child the freedom to make decisions on his own. This way he will learn quickly.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Tips for Parenting Child With Down Syndrome

Quite a number of kids suffer from Down syndrome. It is basically a chromosomal abnormality. Down syndrome occurs because in 21st chromosome of the baby, an extra copy of genetic material is present. This factor leads to several physical as well as mental disorders. Physical abnormality is a common side effect of this syndrome. Apart from that, problems like esophageal complication, gastro-intestinal anomalies, mental retardation and congenital heart defects are other problems occurring from Down syndrome. Children afflicted with Down syndrome are not supposed to have a normal life but there are exceptions. It has been found that if parents devote themselves to these unfortunate kids, there are chances that kids will be able to lead normal lives.

The first thing parents need to understand and accept is these kids are not liability. Yes, it’s true that they grow a slow pace but they do grow. It’s up to the parents to raise them in best possible way. Such children often face trauma in several spheres’ of life. Parents must give them proper love and care. Children with Down syndrome have specific talents and capabilities like other children. It is the job of the parents to nurture such talents and bring out the best in them. The results will be very positive if parents can push themselves. Kids affected by Down syndrome must be fed with anti-oxidants diet. It is very beneficial for them. Yoga is another good idea to improve the health of such kids.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is a strong buzzword in households and schools. Parents are generally responsible for taking care of child’s physical and emotional well being. Like grown up human beings, a kid also seek to gain autonomy. By autonomy, I mean choosing what to do and independence. With the passage of time, a kid develops self-awareness and self expression. These new attributes that a child acquires as he grows up, he starts facing emotional issues also. It’s very hard for a child to take ‘no’. It is also quite normal for a child to use frequent words like no, mine, me to, never etc. such problems are handled by tackling the subject of emotional intelligence.

To help the kids, parents must listen closely and see the challenges from your child’s perspective. You will son find out his needs and requirements. It also helps if parents accept child’s feelings and emotions, howsoever conflicting they may appear. Parents need to convey their acceptance through body language and actions. Parents really need to behave the way they want their child to follow. Remember, your child is going to follow how you behave and how you act.
Provide safe and protective environment to your kid for his emotional growth. Peace of mind is of utmost importance for any child. Finally, always express appreciation for howsoever so small things. It will help in enhancing his self-esteem and feel good factor.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Being patient with kids


Patience is a quality that is essential to be inculcated in childrenright from the early age. It is the quality that becomes the strongestweapon to fight against many situations and problems in life. Theworld is moving rapidly and it forces people to run along, making themimpatient individuals.

It is a rare sight to see someone calm and patient in an age where everything has quick fix solutions. Hence even in families, parentsare seen to b more and more impatient with their kids. Patience isnecessary to make a family happy and at peace. As parents, it isnecessary that you be role models to your children. If parents startbecoming impatient, what are children learning and picking up at thisyoung age?

Try and spend some time alone keeping all the pending work and theto-do lists aside. I know that workaholics might feel a littledifficult to do that but it is essential. Force yourself into thishabit where you spend ten to fifteen minutes alone when your child hasgone to school. Think about things that make you feel happy. Mothers,especially house wives often lose their own self in giving themselvesto their families. Think of something that you always wanted to do. Itmay be paragliding or even scuba-diving. Imagine you are actuallyperforming the activity. It may help you to feel lighter. Other commonways to feel at peace are meditation, prayer and yoga along withbreathings exercises.

Image Courtesy: edytaszyszlo.com

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Teaching Money Management to Your Child

Money management is one subject we need to master in life as we progress towards better and bigger goals. As we grow older, different responsibilities come to us and we need to rake care of those things. Whether, buying a new house, car or looking after our parents, family, and kids’ education or in worse case some unfortunate incidents, money management plays a crucial role in all these situations. We are not always taught to master money management. Few tricks, we learn on our own as we face real situations. Experiences make you wiser but why to wait for such experiences in case of your children.
What we learned late can be instilled in our kids at an early age. So often we are generous with our children and give them what they need and what they want. But that situation is far from ideal. Kids are needed to be taught value of money. Who better than you parents to teach such important thing? You can start by giving them a certain budget and ensuring that they manage with that. You can also teach them how to handle money. Other things that can be taught are teaching them about balancing a cheque book. Talk to them about vices of overspending and how it might affect their basic needs.

Parents can also arrange for few money games between children and give prize to one who best saves and manages the money. Parents are definitely the best ones to teach this basic thing of money management. Go for it and contribute in development of your child.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Teaching Interpersonal Skills to your Child

Interpersonal skills are extremely important in anyone’s life leave alone children. We humans are designed to meet new people, find new acquaintances, interact with them and as it happens quite often deal with conflicts. These things have eternal presence in our lives. We, as parents have acquired such skills over years that come very handy while dealing with such situations. The least we can do is to pass on this hard earned knowledge to out children. Very few things in life are as important as getting along with others. Knowing to deal with difficult people is an art that must be imbibed in our kids if want them successful in business, career and marriage.

These skills are better taught at homes. Passing your wisdom to your child is kind of gifting one priceless skill. Children will keep having diverse experiences during their stay at school and colleges. So rather than relying on nature and experience we can start with teaching them the wonderful art of interpersonal skills.

Health, nutrition and fitness play such important role in our lives. Not many course subjects include nutrition as a separate discipline. Just a chapter or two is dedicated to this crucial topic. With onslaught of fast food culture and widespread problem of obesity, it is suggested that parents should take initiative in this matter. They should make the child learn about benefits of fitness and proper nutrition. Talk to the kids about harmful consequences of sedate lifestyle and try to teach them by presenting yourself as an example. Of course that will require you to be more disciplined towards health in general but that is not such a tough ask when seen from your child’s education point of view. Lead by example and find your child fit and healthy for life.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Teach Your Children

We attend school from age of 4-5 to 18 in normal cases. Many of us have continued studies way beyond that age mostly to pursue advance studies. So in that case, it is very likely that we have learned all that was needed. Right? No, wrong! There are several things that miss from school education and chances are quite bright that such essential thing would be missing from kids’ education as well. The point I am trying to make is some of the most needed skills are not taught by schools. These skills are either developed on their own as and when need arises or taught by parents.

The school curriculum focuses more on theoretical and ideal methodology and subjects. However, many schools have started to design the course curriculum keeping in mind the practical aspects of life yet few things are left to the parents to be provided to their shining stars. For example, career choices. Schooling education teaches children number of subjects and about several other aspects that need to be read and written about. But I doubt career choices is one of those aspects. Schools don’t teach what to do with what the kids have learned. There is a set method that has been followed religiously by almost all the schools. In such cases parents’ role are very important. They need to guide the kids about different career choices and how to proceed towards them. Waiting for higher education so that kids will understand and figure out on their own is not such a good idea. So parents’ should take the initiative here.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Parents’ role in shaping child’s career



Parents’ role in shaping child’s career can not be undermined. That explains why we normally witness the sons and daughters entering into the professional arenas of their parents. Whether it is politics, business, or services many wads have been found to be doing what is considered as carrying the torch of family legacy. For few it’s by choice but for many others it’s by design. The thing to be noticed here is whether these new generation kids are happy doing what is expected of them or it will be more better for them and society in general that they are given ample freedom to choose what they desire?

It all starts with childhood. Often parents compare heir wards to other kids in the same class or group. If X is doing well then so should Y forgetting that Y is more adept at doing some other work. Your daughter may be enrolled in dancing classes but probably she is more inclined towards singing and that’s why her performance in dancing class is not up to the mark. Such factors are often ignored by the overly eager parents. Needless to say, this is detrimental to child’s prospects in field of his/her choice.

Allow your child and show him/her a list of hobbies by taking him out and by providing him an environment. Child will demonstrate his tastes and aptitude and parents need to observe that. Life offers us several professional choices. These days many of those choices are offbeat. Allowing your children to realize their true potential without putting any unwanted pressure is one of the best things parents can do for their kids.

Monday, March 30, 2009

What I want to be When I Grow up?

The story told in previous post suggests one thing. To each his own. It also tells us, not every kid needs to excel at academics in order to excel in life. All the kids are equipped to carve nice for themselves provided their aptitude is ascertained and guided properly. We humans are totally qualified enough to make a success of whatever profession we choose. Yes, the choosing aspect should be done carefully and it must be bereft of any parental or peer pressure.

It’s a normal sight to see parents placing extreme emphasis on academics. Elements like reading, writing and arithmetic are expected to be ingrained in the psyche of the kid. But not every kid is academic oriented. Someone is more inclined towards art or painting; someone is interested in dance and some other in sports. But, by putting emphasis on academics what parents manage to do is suffocating the talents of their wards. Yes, academics are essential but what is more important is finding the true interest of the child. Different children are cut out for different things.

If parents could just focus upon hobbies and pleasurable activities of the kids, we can have more successful and happy souls doing their jobs with maximum productivity. It is said that a child starts to develop a personality when he or she reaches the age of three. It’s also the time when pre-school period starts and child starts becoming socially adaptable. Child also starts to have his likes and dislikes in this phase that become stronger with the passage of time. This is the time when parents should focus upon child’s activities and his parents.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Kids and Career

Let me tell you a story. There was this meeting taking place in one of the school. The meeting was primarily a reunion meet that focused upon living the old times. Most of the people present there were fondly remembering the old days and they were in those formative years. Many others talked about what was once expected of them and what they turned out to be. The findings were startling.

Many of those present there were proud parents of grown up kids. One of the parents vividly remembered the sobriquet given to him by his parents, teachers and batch mates. The lady in question was extremely shy and always struggled to get her sums right. She was declared as a ‘good for nothing’ also-ran. Her education and results were far from encouraging and her parents were tremendously worried for her. Currently she is an acclaimed dancer who has performed at several dance festivals and stage shows across the nation and in few other countries. Surprising, no!

The other individual present in the meet was never a bright student as far as academics is concerned. He like the former one swam against the tide and now a day, known as an established sports trainer. He brought glory and laurels to his college and his reputation as a coach is awe-inspiring. So where am I leading you with these stories? Yes, you guessed it right. It’s about kids and their chosen careers. The next article will elaborate on this crucial aspect.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Conflicting Emotions- Tips

Last post gave us a peek into the behavior of a child and her parents. It also gives us a fair idea about how parenting styles differ greatly among different parents! Parents should always try to observe behavior of the kids. Many a times, children coming back from school seem upset or angry or sad. However, do not try to assume that kids will come to you and talk about their issues. Parents should take the initiative and go up to them, sit with them and ask the relevant questions. Ask your child, what happened kid, are you angry? And if yes, then why? Somebody hurt you?

It’s an art to broach the topic with the child. Don’t ask directly like, ‘what’s wrong?’ Rather use an opening line like ‘I can something is wrong or I know my child has something to share’! This way you will be able to build a nice platform. Try to identify the emotions of your kid by providing them choices. Sometimes kids are not aware of exact emotions they are feeling. So give them names and then talk about it. It is also crucial to focus equally on good as well as bad feelings. Like parents can ask about kids’ happiest experiences and the reasons. Once you have asked the concerned questions, sit back and try to listen to whatever they have to say. Children are more comfortable in sharing only when they find you are genuinely interested.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Handle With Care



Let’s talk about a girl named Reema. A very sensitive child of 7 years, she would often run into her room and shut the door whenever she was upset with her parents. This condition is a normal one in many families. Now what makes the things different is how the parents respond in such situations. In case of Reema, her parents would ignore her and will only knock the door when its meal time. If the child comes her parents don’t discuss the topic at all and if she does not then they won’t call her again, thinking that when her stomach starts growling she will come out on her own. That’s how Reema’s parents decided to tackle the issues. Now Reema is a grown up lady with two beautiful kids. She is very close with them but she does not feel any sort of attachment with her parents. What Reema’s parents did was to make her feel aloof and till the date she is not comfortable discussing her feelings with them.


What does this story teaches you? It’s never a good idea to ignore your child’s misery or problem. Question your children and try to probe a bit into his/her psyche. Reema’s parents could have easily asked her questions like, “were you angry? Why did you run into your room? What happened? Did someone hurt you? Did we said anything that upset you?” These questions would have made a lot of difference in that kid’s life and today, Reema’s behavior with her parents would have been totally different and pleasing.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Parenting values

Sometimes, parents need to educate themselves. There is no theory that says that parents can not make mistakes. After all they are humans and they are bound to make mistakes while dealing with the kids. It is natural. We all possess few great qualities and some shortcomings as well. Most often, our kids teach us in the best way possible. They don’t realize it but yes, they do leave an imprint of essential learning’ for parents. Few such moments make us introspect about our values and parenting style. The process of introspection makes us more aware of our values and needs. The more parents can identify with their values and understand their needs, better they will be as parents.

Keep checking parenting styles of your friends, colleagues and family members. It provides a great insight and is an amazing learning experience. We don’t always need to commit a mistake to learn essential things of life. That way, our whole lifetimes will not be enough to make us perfect. So it’s better to learn from others and cut upon our mistakes. We can always implement good qualities of others.

Talking about feelings is always a wonderful step towards achievement of parenting goals. Many parents don’t prefer to talk about feelings, thinking that children will learn on their own. But think of benefits if you start discussing feelings with kids. Children are exposed to stream of emotions at an early age. They can not comprehend all of them. Some make them sad and some others confuse them. Yes, they can cope up on their own but a little bit of guidance always comes handy.

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Parenting Changes

The obsession for the word ‘perfection’ causes great deal of pain and agony in any aspect of life. Parenting is no exception. Trying to be a perfect parent and making sure what is important to the family is two different things. They don’t go together. The moment you think of what is right for you and the family instead of worrying about perfection, many things get sorted out. Many a times, your best planned things go awry but that also gives you an opportunity of being honest about it with your kids. That goes a long way in deepening the connection. That way you can also have a heart to heart discussion with the children and plan ahead.

Parents have best interests of children in their mind and hearts. They want to give best to the kids and for that few changes need to take place every now and then. Now, there is a caveat in this. People expect immediate results and that’s a big mistake. Remember, changes take time to show the result. So better play the patience game and take the needed time. For a change to become a part of your everyday life, time and patience is of utmost importance. This also allows you to learn things and see things in new perspective. In era of fast food and instant coffee, it’s a futile idea to witness instant changes in you and your kids. Small changes will show up immediately but bigger changes take time. At the same time, more time they take, parenting changes will remain more strong and emphatic.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Suggestions for Parents

When parents ponder over the way of parenting their kids, one thing they should always remember is that there is always a choice. When you wonder over your upbringing experience you will come across several events when you were lectured, demanded, advised or corrected. Those memories can often make you think, probably that’s why I emerged successful or a better human being. But in the deep corners of your heart, you might think that there could have been better ways to make my childhood much happier.

Parenting need not to be of managerial style. There are several alternatives of parenting. Parents always have a choice regarding how they would prefer to handle and how to motivate kids. Just don’t try to imitate other parents or don’t follow blindly what other parents or elders teach you. That would not be such an interesting idea. Remember, different kids have different needs. One just can’t generalize good parenting rules and apply to kids ignoring their individual requirements.

Aim for some goals while embarking on parenting journey. Never try to be a perfect parent because that will be an impossible goal. No one is perfect and one is bound to do some mistakes. The only thing important here is to realizing what you value most as a parent and whenever you lose the track and commit some mistakes use that value as your guiding light. Once you stop thinking being perfect parent, there will be a marked improvement in your parenting style.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Parenting Dilemma


There is one very interesting fact about learning; only five percent of lifelong learning comes from instruction whereas the source of rest of the 95 percent is family and social interactions. One striking thing about learning process of kids is that they learn more from seeing what you do rather than what you say. So if you realize this fact and act accordingly knowing what your work style and daily routine can do to your children, can work magic in the life of a family. As we are talking about parenting style, first of all we need to look at the all the alternatives. This evaluating option will make us feel comfortable and will also bring stability and peace in the overall home environment.

Most often we wonder how we would like to parent our children. The trick is to look back at your own experience. It’s a normal thing to fall back on familiar things whenever we feel overwhelmed or tensed in particular situations. Let’s go back in time and check out the positives and negatives of our upbringing. That’s a great source to develop your own parenting style. If we have a life partner or friends or family members then asking them regarding this topic will also be a good idea. Those members can always share their experiences and provide you with more insight into the parenting psyche. Remember, parenting is always an enjoyable responsibility provided you are willing to think it that way.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

What's your parenting style?

Many of us often think of the way how our parents treated us in our childhood. Few of us love it that way and few others think it could have been done in a better way. Quite a good number of new parents do not want to repeat the mistakes, they think their parents committed while bringing them up. Some other times, we also look at other parents and their parenting styles and admire the way they treat their kids. We often try to emulate such parenting style. Parenting style differs from parent to parent. Some prefer it disciplinary way and some other are quite liberal with the children. Being a strict disciplinarian all the time fail to provide the desired result and despite we realizing it we stick to the same methodology because of the habit factor.

Our parenting style mostly depends upon the value system of the family. But we should not choose a way that borders on extremism. It should not be too permissive or too punitive. We need to identify and understand parenting style properly so that implementation part gets easier. Before embarking on this discovery, we need to realize that parenting is one of the most demanding and rewarding responsibilities for we humans. Few of us have painful experiences of our own childhood and we try not to repeat the same mistakes committed to us. But whatever the parenting style we faced, the same greatly determines how we are going to behave with our kids.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Allotting Time for Children’s Activities

Parents should ensure that their child is consistently involved in some kind of activity. It could be household chores or art or sports. Allow them so time for TV but never let it go out of the hand. Children being children will obviously love to watch TV shows for unlimited time period. Whether it’s a music channel or cartoon shows, they will just love to hang around the TV. Try to involve the kids in some kind of productive activity. But also make sure that, the child is not involved in more than two activities simultaneously. Don’t over-exert him. Keep a check on his activity and try to make poems for kids enjoyable. Don’t allow him to get the feeling that he has to carry on, no matter what’s his interest level. Children will not enjoy the activity if they are taking it as a burden. So fun element is very crucial here.

One thing is also important here and that is the fact that parents are also involved in a particular activity with the kids. Because parents are there to guide them and indulging themselves for the purpose of games and practices. Any activity is fun-filled and enjoyable only if done in small doses. But you try to prolong it and it might rob you from crucial time as a family. Do make sure to spend quality time with the child by reading him short stories. That’s when the child is happiest.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Children and Responsibilities


Right from the very beginning children should be given responsibilities. For a start, we can allot them house chores and subsequently reward them on the successful completion of tasks. Children must be given the feeling that they are also contributing to family functioning. While deciding on house chores, we can think of several questions like; how to improve kids’ accountability and freedom? What kind of works, our children do now to contribute to overall scheme of things? What other works can be added to children’s list of responsibilities in coming time? How quietly and effectively we are going to support our children at their new works? Are we going to teach some new skills to the kids? The skills could range from washing plates to cleaning house or taking care of their clothes or folding bed sheet and blankets.

These factors must be our parenting considerations for this year. These things require some time to figure out but we must devote some amount of quality time and deciding these thoughtful things. There is also a possibility that while thinking of works for kids, we might start for new works for ourselves. The process can also be very useful in taking commands of our resolutions pertaining to work, family, health, relationships etc. another wonderful result of this process will be better bond between parents and children. So what are you thinking of? Just get going and enjoy the process.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Supporting Children


Many parents religiously indulge themselves in doing kids’ homework. They do it completely and thus easing all the home work blues of their children. Helping children, right? No, it is called rescuing children. Helping or supporting children is done when you assist them in doing their homework, when they falter at particular subjects and you guide them. Finishing homework on your own devoid children of several positive qualities which they were about to acquire. The actual problem lies in paucity of time. Parents after coming back to home still reel from day’s hard work and ubiquitous pressure. They assume, let’s finish the homework on our own because explaining kids the concept and teaching them thoroughly will take a lot of time and further increase our stress. So let’s choose the easy way out. But, hardly have they realized it’s a completely wrong way.

Parents must keep the fact in mind that supporting children by sacrificing our own personal time goes a long way in cultivating kids’ personality. Let the children master their subjects on their own. Let’s just guide them than jumping all the way and finishing homework in hurry. By supporting our children and helping them to master things is a sure shot way to enhance their self esteem and self confidence. This is also a way to encourage child’s independence and responsibility. Always remember, we are here to provide the basics for our kids. We are not here to let them take things for granted.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Parenting goals

We discussed parenting goals for this New Year. One of the crucial steps that could be taken by parents is trying to understand and interpret child’s point of view during any conversation. Depending upon the kid’s age, he or she can be included in conversation and their points should be taken in serious light. This way, child will also feel self-importance and their self esteem is sure to improve further. When parents ask children questions like what do you think about this, or what’s your opinion about this issue or what do you recommend in such situations etc instills a sense of decision making in children. Hearing out children’s voice and opinions is a wonderful way to improve parents-kids relationships.

Now a days, children are indulged in several creative, recreational and vocational courses. Often they perform well and sometimes they are not so good at the performance chart. Here, what parents can do is to congratulate and celebrate each and every success of their kids. It could be in form of eating out or giving them a hug or spending meaningful time with them. There are hundreds of ways to show affection to kids and trust me, they love it. Parents must grab each and every opportunity to shower appreciation to the children. Parents should also focus on identifying children’s favorites whether it is clothes, foods, sports, books or tv shows. Our future articles will keep exploring new and latent ways to improve the wonderful bond between children and parents.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Parenting questions


I am pretty sure; many of the readers are proud parents or soon going to be parents. Most of them would like to visualize themselves in a certain way as parents. They would also love to set up their minds about how they would like to “be” with their children. But before embarking on this challenging journey, few questions must be asked. These questions will not only help you in becoming good parent but also make your connection with the children stronger.

Questions can range from relationship proximity to year basis like how parents would love to see panning out their relationship with the kids at the end of this year. And to achieve those goals what steps do they need to take? Parents also need to show children respect in order to enhance the established bond. The trick is if we show respect to our children, it comes our way manifold during old age. What we would like to see from them, we need to perform first. So parents should focus on devising new ways to show better respect to kids. We should also value our kids for what they are, who they are than judging them on the scale of what they do. Parents should also focus on understanding different point of views put across by kids. It goes without saying that there has been a paradigm shift in children’s perspectives. In tune with that change, parents also need to adjust the mindset and that will surely result in better bond between parents and kids.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Make Your Family Ties Stronger

Parents, who have better ties with their kids, often manage to do it because of the quality time they spend with them. Spending time with your kids, indulging in little chit-chats tend to make your bond with the child stronger. So how to do that? Parents can take a concrete step towards this goal by scheduling fixed time duration on per day or per week basis. Make sure it’s on a one-on-one basis. Just you and your kid. This thing will not only strengthen your ties with the kid but also deepen the attachment. This step has several benefits like the opportunity to know innermost feelings of the child. It’s a known fact that a kid is more comfortable in sharing his most personal feelings when he or she is along with the parent. It’s difficult for child to express his emotions when he/she is with the sibling. He feels more vulnerable in such conditions. So make sure to have him talk to you in private. Another positive effect will be sense of value in importance that the child will feel. He will get the feeling that my parents value me more than anything else and they want to listen to me. Imagine the high, he/she will get.

Another wonderful suggestion to make your ties stronger with family is to think of a family activity together each week or fortnight. It could be anything like doing puzzle, playing a game, watching family videos or some outdoor activity etc. both parents can think of several such ideas and execute them and the end result will definitely make you feel very satisfied.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Resolutions for Your Family


To being with the resolutions, first start with a calendar. Think of the days spent together with family. Also count your work time. Now check out the areas where there is definite scope of improvements. Begin with a fixed time schedule which you will devote to your spouse. It could be watching movies together, or sitting in your garden, going to a restaurant, or any other similar thing that gives you enough time with each other. If you think of it, married couples don’t spend much time in meaningful conversation. The average time is abysmally low at few minutes. Normally all the persons, take their spouses for granted. They don’t think this relationship requires too much care or time together. And that’s where they make the biggest mistake. Logically, our best relationship should get best of the times. Spouse is not only a life partner but a friend, confidante also.

How about spending time with your spouse without your kids? Try to rejuvenate the early romance with your partner. A happily married couple always influences kids in a positive way. Surely, life will never remain the same. Once you have planned about this thing lets move to another wonderful thought of having dinner with your entire family. Because of the hectic and stressful lives most of us live, very few of us get a chance to have a family dinner. Family dinner used to be a traditional norm but it is losing its sanctity. Try to preserve that because it is the best place and time to make stronger relationships with your family. It’s worth more than anything else

Monday, February 2, 2009

Importance of Family

Parenting involves a family. A complete family with father, mother and children. We all make new resolutions but most likely as individuals. The normal resolutions include things like, getting more focused, more organized, losing weight, achieving goals, improving relationships, behaving good, quitting smoking etc. But how often you have heard of family resolutions? Not many people have been found to prepare resolutions for family. If not then lets think of this fact for a while.

Major parts of our life spend with our family. We are so comfortable with are our family that we start taking it for granted. Our family provides us security. We take our meals with the family, with spouse, with kids. Infact, the comfort level is so extreme that we hardly ever think of them despite the fact that they are our lifelines. Let’s make a beginning. Lets make few resolutions and implement them and the result, well you will be surprised to see the difference in everyone around. The best result will be the sense of satisfaction you will have.

But before that try counting the number of days you have spent with your family. Also think of when was the last time you took your kids to playground. Not to forget when the last time was you spend some quality time with your spouse with nobody around. Does that strikes you? Hard to remember? Difficult to count such days? That’s what I meant by making resolutions for the family. Our future posts will focus upon several such resolutions implementing which will bring nothing but fulfilling experience in your life.

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Parenting Priorities

Few minor changes in word and the whole meaning changes so drastically. How about replacing “I shoulds” to “I coulds.” How many times, we think of we should this, we should that sort of statements. The trap of ‘I Should’ is hugely menacing. This statement reflects pressure and condition of idealism and that is one false note to begin with. Whenever we force ourselves to do some thing which seems good in future tense, we kind of mentally pressurize ourselves for unpredictable eventualities whereas, saying ‘I Could’ gives you choice of doing those particular things as per your convenience. There is not much change in saying I should and I could but the mindset changes. Now, why I am emphasizing this difference is because parents needs to do few things for the kids which have been floating in planning since eternity.

Whenever parents say ‘I could’ to them they find their mindset changed in a positive way. They move forward towards getting things done which they could. How about making a list of ‘I could’ as a parent for your kids? Its better late than never and all parents need to think is ‘Now is the time’ to do all those wonderful things for their kids. Let’s start by making a list for your beautiful children.

Spending few special moments with your children each day.
Planning a simple but fun-filled activity with your kids.
Asking your children to help in few household chores.
Ask yourself to be more patient with your child.
Whenever your child does something that annoys you, you will be more consistent in dealing with them.
Organizing playroom and bedroom of your kids.
Setting time limits for children when it comes to watching TV.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Parenting In New Year

Life never offers any surety for anything. What does that convey? Nobody can claim to live forever. We are never sure when the final time is going to approach us. That also says, parenting which is nothing but a beautiful art needs to be given proper time and care. Our kids are our lifelines and when we compromise in spending quality time with them, it can not be compensated with any form of gifts, cakes, chocolates etc. we would love our kids to remember as someone who gave us complete attention, catered to our silly desires and gave us maximum possible care and love. Whenever we listen to kids by spending time with them we come across many facets of us, previously unknown to us.

So why not take an initiative in brand new year by doing few special things for our kids and with our kids. The year has kick started on anew note and that tells us to reflect back on the past year. How we were to our lifelines? Is there any possibility of improvement? Try to plan for your kids in this New Year. Think of new things that will please your kids. I am not asking you to make new resolutions or things to do sort of things because they often tend to go wayward with the course of time. The point is not to put pressure on parents by planning numerous things or thinking way ahead of times. Quite often these plans put extra pressure and stress on parents which ultimately leads to non-fulfillment of originally planned things. Be realistic.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Parenting Time

How many parents have been heard saying,
I will go with my kids for outing tomorrow or son, next week we will go for swimming session or soon enough we will arrange bike riding or whenever I will get time, I will accompany you to sports ground and several such commitments which are always subject to time availability. And when the time comes, parents are found wanting in fulfilling their promises. Now, one thing is for sure, no parents do it for his own pleasure. Definitely time and several worldly constraints cause parents to delay their programs. But one thing is also true; procrastination is never an appreciated virtue even by cynics. Parents have several jobs to do including, waking up early morning, doing dishes, preparing meals, teaching kids, doing their own jobs and several such things. It’s a hectic life for parents but its also an immensely joyful and satisfying experience. These mundane things are definitely not as important as catering to our kids but sooner than later our habits turn them into most looked after priorities.

Do we notice that most often than not, we tend to postpone the most important things of our lives. We take kids for granted and always think of doing our committed things some other times. Parents don’t do this intentionally but then they also forget that kids grow up quite fast. Don’t try to play catch up with your kids. Try to create time for them from nowhere. There is always a time for our kids for which we strive to work hard. Don’t miss the opportunities by delaying things. If we want to share wonderful moments with our kids, we need to create time for them.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

The Art of Parenting

Parenting is one of the most difficult as well as beautiful responsibility. The blog name says the beautiful art of parenting and yes, indeed it is! Ever seen a painter using brushstrokes on a blank canvas? Check his sincerity and carefulness while using the colors. Even the brushstrokes are so calculated so that the end result exactly comes out the way he wanted to. A slight miss of brush, a wrong usage of color and painting does not remain the same. Similarly with parenting, its nothing less than art which needs to be performed with utmost care, devotion and sincerity.

Every would-be parent aspires to be the greatest one. Most of them seek inspiration from their own parents and few others prefer to improve upon the parenting they received. Either way, the end result is ambition of proving to be the best ever parent. Parents want to give their best to their kids in terms of knowledge, wisdom and as we Indians love to call, ‘Sanskaras’. The art of parenting comes up with huge responsibility. Most of the people wonder, how do you define parenting? The answer is not easy because whatever we will say will turn out to be an ideal list yet there are few basic things associated with parenting. Apart from providing food, clothes and shelters to our children, parents love their kids unconditionally. They treat their kids equally and there is no gender bias. Parents also have the responsibility of guiding their children on the right path in the best way possible. Parents need to combine pragmatism and idealism while imparting values to their children. On that note, let’s try to learn the beautiful art of parenting.